Prank Shop (A Harry Potter Parody)

*Parody of Macklemore's "Thrift Shop"

I'm gonna cop some gags,

Only got 20 knuts in my pocket!

I'm hunting, looking for a bargain,

Cause the Weasley Boys are awesome!

Walk into the shop, need a really big favor,

Got some Puking Pustules in a brand-new flavor,

maybe something nice, like a pink love potion,

(George tells me Ron would need a whole love ocean!)

Running down the aisles, grabbing stuff off the shelves

Chocolate frogs and Fever Fudge and a couple things for myself

Ron and George are awesome, they've got new pranks every day

And look! There’s a whole bloody KIT on that tray!

(But, shoot, I bought that one last week!)

Buying 'em and prepping 'em to get me some attention,

Rubber ducks and flying bugs, more like I might get detention

Fumey and fuzzy fake wands and

I am huntin' and havin' a hard time picking 'em,
but the boys will tell me, "Yeah, That's a bargain, witch!"

I'mma buy a Pigmy Puff

I'mma never say "Enough!"

Are these trading cards for real, or are they all just rip-offs?

Portable swamp conjured by a poltergeist,

Guess it comes with the diamonds it hid there from a past heist,

They had some Fainting Fancies,

I bought some Fainting Fancies—

Looked across the aisle, saw a rat that break-dances!

Hello, hello, this Voice Box is mellow,

Wonder what my friends will say when all their skin turns yellow!

I can get a sky-writing broom to play Quidditch on,

Keepers and Seekers won't catch me when I have this Switch on!

I'm gonna cop some gags,

Only got 20 knuts in my pocket!

I'm hunting, looking for a bargain,

Cause the Weasley Boys are awesome! (2x)

What's the spell that will put a beaver on your noggin?

What's the one that will make your voice sound froggin'?

I'm racing I'm chasing that runaway Roller,

Gonna score big with that bunny-hiding Bowler!

Thank the Weasleys for making every thing in here possible,

Oops! Hope than Magic Snot I spilled is washable!

Now I'm in the back room testing out the Trans-Plants,

Wonder what Draco will do when I "Trans" his pants?

The goofiest, slimiest, funniest, gaggiest pranks you've ever seen!

I have one here that'll turn your family's faces green;

A built-in fan that blows glitter in the air,

A promenading chicken wearing tiny underwear!

They be all, "Hey! Why do they have those little boxes locked up tight?"

I'm like, "Yo! That's cause the Cornish pixies like to give a fright!"

Limited Edition Polyjuice, the Junior version,

Ten galleons for a puppet?

I call that profit perversion!

They try to say the market for snake wands is in the tank,

That they don't work at all cause the spell to make them is a fake!

Gotta find the firecrackers, wanna make some noise,

When the OWL test is underway, just like those clever ginger boys!

Each day, I'm gonna try a prank in the Great Hall,

Gonna plan my last one for the week before the Yule Ball!

Nah... Better skip the Yule Ball!

Wizards!
Wheezes!  
PRANKS!
YEAH!

I'm gonna cop some gags,

Only got 20 knuts in my pocket!

I'm hunting, looking for a bargain,

Cause the Weasley Boys are awesome!

Come get your Wheezes here,

Like an Extendable Ear!

They might be insincere, but

they promise nothing too severe!

Snape wears your grandma's clothes,

Complete with sea-green coat,

When you help to promote,

The Wizard Prank Shop down the road!