The Non-Nerd's Guide to Nerddom: Or, "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book... because it has the words "DON'T PANIC" in large, friendly letters on the cover."

 I can still remember seeing the teaser trailer for the first time... and having no idea what the heck this movie was supposed to be about. 

Years after that (which brings us up to a couple years ago), I finally decided to sit down and see what all the hype was about. What happened next was 100 minutes of sheer genius. Enjoy sci-fi? Love British humor? Then you will adore this movie. Don't believe me? Read on! (I should warn you, this might include some spoilers... but not too many, so there will be some unexpected randomness in the movie!)

Best Bits and Random Thoughts:

-There is nothing quite so awesome as a narration by Stephen Fry. Period.

-So humans are only the third smartest species... with dolphins being the second... so what does that make the smartest life form on Earth?

-I knew it was going to be good when Martin Freeman appears as the main character. He's just so innocent and adorable!

-I'm sorry, I have to ask: was the ginger thing intentional?

-Poor Arthur (Freeman) is freaked out over the demolition of his house ("We've got to get rid of your house to build a bypass! Bypasses have to be built!") but the thing nobody realizes is that the same thing is about to happen to earth.... and the aliens responsible are going to use the same reasoning....

-Mos Def plays Ford Prefect... named after a British car... which he, an alien, thought was the dominant life form... "Well that explains the accent," said Arthur.

- (Side note: that lady watching them in the picture is the actress who played Zooey Deschanel's character in the stage production...but the director had no idea till they started filming...it's too perfect!)

-This movie is so full of random quotes! "Time is an illusion; lunchtime, doubly so."
 

-When Ford tells the people at the pub that the world is ending in just a few minutes, the barkeeper's reaction is to ask, "Shouldn't we, I dunno, lie down and put paper bags over our heads or something? Would it help?" How very British....

-"In the beginning," says the Hitchhiker's Guide, "The Universe was created... and it made a lot of people very angry and was widely regarded as a bad move."

-Enter Zaphod Beeblebrox (played by Sam Rockwell, who used a combination of Elvis Presley and Bill Clinton as inspiration for his portrayal... which actually explains a lot when you watch him...)

-A word on Marvin the Paranoid Android: I remember thinking "I recognize that voice..." Of course I did: it's Alan Rickman. (and the person inside the costume is Warwick Davis)

-"Did that door literally just sigh?" "Awful, isn't it? Every door on this ship is programmed to have a sunny and cheerful disposition..." So you have a happy ship... and a manically depressed android... what's the problem, here?

-Puppetry designed and done by the Jim Henson Company... yet another win!

"The effect of the Infinite Improbability Drive is like having all the possible dimensions accessible at once... so you never know how (or what) you'll end up till normality is restored."

-Arthur: "We can talk about normal till the cows come home!"
Ford: "What is normal?"
Tricia: "What is home?"
Zaphod: "What are cows?"

-Zaphod: "Freeze!"
Marvin: "Freeze? I'm a robot, not a refrigerator."

-Zaphod has two heads because he "put all his non-presidential traits" into the second one.... "Apparently you can't be president with a whole brain..." British opinions on American politics in a single sentence...

"I have an idea... Marvin, give me your hand!"

-For the sake of having a plot, Mr. Adams devised the concept of a highly advanced society creating a supercomputer (voiced by Emma Thompson) capable of giving them the answer to "Life, the Universe--Everything!"

-The Answer is 42... but the question remains to be discovered...

-Okay, so if you must know, there is at least one part of this film I don't watch: we see Zaphod lose his second head to the very disturbing Humma Kavulah (Jon Malkovich)--who removes it with a very large buzzsaw. The effect is cartoonish dark comedy, it's shown in silhouette...but I get squeamish easy, okay? The rest of the film makes up for it.

-As a result of losing his second head, Zaphod must wear a thinking cap... fueled by lemon zest. He wants to travel to the planet with the supercomputer, Magrathea, and discover the Ultimate Question.

-On the way, though, Tricia gets captured by Vogons--a race that parodies the WORST of British bureaucracy--and so the original mission is put on hold to go rescue her.

-Naturally part of this planet's function is largely to submit the correct form if you want anything done...

-Arthur: "I'm British, I know how to queue."

-On Magrathea, they have to collect a gun for Humma Kavulah in order to trade for Zaphod's second head: the Point-of-View Gun:

-Following their discovery of it is a short scene that was basically an excuse for Sam Rockwell and Mos Def to trade characters for a moment... of course when it came to Zooey she says, "It won't work on me... I'm already a woman."

-Meanwhile, Arthur is in the company of the foreman who apparently "built Earth", as they build "custom luxury planets" all the time... So even though it got destroyed, this galactic company re-made it exactly... This is science fiction, people!

-Hey now, it's Bill Nighy!

-Apparently white mice are the smartest life form in the galaxy; Earth was commissioned as an experiment by them, since they are the modern life form of the ancient Magrathean civilization who were looking for the Ultimate Question.

-Mouse: "We need your brain to discover the Ultimate Question."
Arthur: "You can't have my brain, I'm using it!"
Mouse: "Hardly!"

-At last, Arthur discovers his own Ultimate Question, and the Ultimate Answer--which is of course unsatisfactory to his captors, ("We don't want to be happy, we want to be famous!" "Yeah, what's all this 'is she the one?' tripe? TAKE HIS BRAIN!")

All in all, a very satisfactory movie, full of wonderful humor, spectacular writing, great acting, and quite the comprehensive guide for anyone new to the realm of science fiction tropes.


Now if you'll excuse me... I have a date at this great little Restaurant at the End of the Universe...